Slattsnews

Definitely the letter to the editor of the week:

Fellow humans with whole new language
LIKE, I’m on the train, right? It’s, like, 9 o’clock on Saturday morning and it’s f—ing freezing? Like nine degrees or something? And these two, like, chicks get on and their skirts are right up to their, like, bums? and their white legs are, like, naked? And covered in, like, chicken-bumps?
At the next station, this real cool dude with a backpack swings on and they both, like, take their ear phones out? One girl is like “Oh my God, it’s Cam!” and the other’s, like, “Cool!” Cam sits down and he’s, like, all over them and they, like, seem to think he’s really, like, hot, even though he has this massive zit on his chin and a ring in his, like, eyebrow? They both, like, hang on his every word, even though he’s only got, like, about 10 of them? And the top five are: ”f—”, ”shit”, ”cool”, ”massive” and, like, ”like”?
When they get off at, like, Richmond, Oh, my God! Cam’s backpack gives me a, like, massive thwhack in the face as he passes my seat? And he, like, doesn’t even notice? (I’m, like, a woman in my 70s?) Hey, guys, don’t forget we older generations, like, exist? Even if we are another species and speak a different language.
Vivienne Player, Beaumaris

This is no exaggeration, as any regular public transport commuter can verify. A generation of obnoxious morons is emerging whose only scholastic achievement is honours in self-esteem.
The saddest aspect is those chiefly responsible for this lamentable decline in youthful public presentation want our sympathy and support for their totally unwarranted industrial action.