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Bloody hell, is there no end to the list of must-read blogs?
Some offerings from Wicked Thoughts:

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENICS AND CELL-PHONE USERS

Social Distance: The individual with schizophrenia will generally retreat to a considerate distance from others when he needs to converse with his voices. The cell phone user will stand right next to you, talk in a loud voice, and gesticulate in your face.
Safe Driving Technique: The cell phone user often needs to look at his phone to dial while driving, causing him to drive over yellow lines and endanger others on the road. The individual with schizophrenia does not need to dial, and thus is a much safer driver.
Restaurants: The cell phone user is more likely to be talking loudly in a quiet, expensive restaurant. The individual with schizophrenia is less likely to be noticed because he usually has his conversations in eateries where the ambient noise drowns out his conversation.
Prognosis: Individuals with schizophrenia often seek help for their difficulties, and are quite responsive to treatment. Cell phone users are remarkable for their lack of insight and resistance to any form of social, medical or legal intervention.

Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say “hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?
If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?