Letter of the week in The Australian today:
HELLO, my Aussie cousins. I want to send a few words of support at this difficult time. We all know the Australian Test cricket team has had it tough of late, what with back-to-back Ashes defeats and a 4-0 thumping in India.
We all know the Australian Test cricket team has had it tough of late, what with back-to-back Ashes defeats and a 4-0 thumping in India.
Now I also know “Diamond” Dave Warner has had a tough year with the bat, but I think his attempt to land a punch on England’s smallest player, Joe Root, could be a stroke of genius. Why bother with balls and bats, silly mid-ons and maidens? It is all so yesteryear and not at all macho.
I say it could be wise to settle future Ashes rivalries like real men. In a good old-fashioned punch up, the Aussies may even have a chance of winning, certainly more than with this motley crew of boozed-up village-cricket journeymen.
To make it fair, England could bring in Lennox Lewis for Stuart Broad and Frank Bruno for Alastair Cook. As for the Aussies, why make any changes at all?
To be fair, perhaps the Australians could lose Michael Clarke for Jeff Fenech. And given Mitchell Johnson’s well publicised troubles, he could probably be replaced by “Aussie” Joe Bugner.
Thanks to “Diamond” Dave’s bold initiative, we can look forward to beer and biffo to settle this Ashes question once and for all.
Tim Horgan, London, England