He don’t know where he are   31/7/2012

Apparently, this has been around a while, first published in the IPA Review. But it’s new to me and I did get a giggle. Flim flam must be the most pilloried public figure in Australia and a terrible embarrassment to those who placed him on a pedestal.

Flannery of the Overflow
| William York
I had written him a letter which I had, for want of better
Knowledge, sent to where I met him on the Murray, years ago,
He was boating when I knew him, so I sent the letter to him,
Just on spec, addressed as follows, ‘Flannery, of The Overflow’.
And an SMS came directed from a source quite unexpected,
(And I think it was dictated from a river bank or bar)
‘Twas the Prime Minister who wrote it, and verbatim I will quote it:
Flannery’s gone all atmospheric, and I don’t know where we are.’
With Australia Day flattery, visions come to me of Flannery
Gone a-driving ‘down to Canberra’ where the politicians go;
With the journalists and stringers, Flannery pointing with his fingers,
draws a future of disasters none of us will live to know.
And the Greens come out to meet him, and their kindly voices greet him
While the politicians ponder an election to be won,
And he sees the vision horrid of our country turning florid,
With a baking sun, a rising sea and little being done.
Gazing up at Kirribilli, I wonder will the ‘Silly
Season’ finish with a whimper or a bang
Will we all start getting warm, or is this the perfect storm,
Orchestrated by Al Gore and echoed by the noisy local gang.
It seems to me Prime Minister that there is something here quite sinister
In the push to get our economics in a great big melting pot.
With the present calls for action, you will need to find some traction
For ideas that cool the hot heads so we don’t destroy our lot.

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Opening the batting   30/7/2012

Arlo’s kitted out to play for Australia.

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This will trigger some “scientific” bum-clenching:

PRESS RELEASE – U.S. Temperature trends show a spurious doubling due to NOAA station siting problems and post measurement adjustments.
Chico, CA July 29th, 2012 – 12 PM PDT – FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
A comparison and summary of trends is shown from the paper. Acceptably placed thermometers away from common urban influences read much cooler nationwide:

This blog has said it all along: Airports, where the majority of official temperature recordings are made, are warmer places than the natural terrain.

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Dopey reaction   

Neo-puritan bullies are headed for a clobbering whenever aristocrats of wit set them in their sights.

FOR cartoonist Bill Leak, the nanny state is real. It has just snuffed out his attempt to launch a new business aimed at poking fun at the government.
Leak had been planning to sell cardboard covers for packets of cigarettes that would have obscured and ridiculed the graphic images of gangrenous legs and cancerous mouths that have been mandated by federal legislation.

Well done, Bill Leak, you got just the reaction you’d expect from nutty fanatics. Hey, Nicola Roxon and other busy bodies, the rational and tolerant are laughing like drains. Not with you — at you. Mercilessly, you morons.

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Expert inefficiency   

Just when you think the incompetence and hypocrisy of this federal government and its minions could not be any more profound, along comes news that has you laughing out loud as you read.

JULIA Gillard’s chief spin doctor, John McTernan, has failed to produce a taxpayer-funded report for the South Australian Labor government that he was paid to write as a Thinker in Residence last year.
Mr McTernan, an ally of ousted premier Mike Rann, was due to complete his report on public sector efficiency last October before assuming the post as the Prime Minister’s communications director in November .
Nine months after the report was due, the state government said it was still being finalised.

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Mad world   29/7/2012

By any stretch, Tim Flannery’s infamous claims from 2007 that Australia would never see heavy rain again, due to manmade global warming, were delusional. Crazy. Nutty, even. Such assertions at that time indicated a definitely weird form of self-regard.
Likewise, Greens policies that would send the nation bankrupt and make a cave a desirable residence, are truly the stuff of the loony left. Of the stark, raving kind.
But when it comes to insanity in public policy, it takes a special type of Stalinist derangement to want to ban certain language because it might give some precious luvvies the vapours.

In a letter to regulatory authorities obtained by The Sunday Age, headspace chief executive Chris Tanti said that while it was no longer considered appropriate to use the words ”retarded” or ”gay” as pejorative terms, it is still deemed acceptable to accuse public figures of being ”nuts”, ”bonkers” or ”crazy”. He called for enforceable codes of practice to sanction media outlets for using such language.

Is this a variation of what Polonius said of Hamlet: Though this be madness, yet there is method in’t?
Seeing the bard’s works are riddled with references to insanity, would he qualify for the language police’s hit list?
We can hope only hope that in the case of latter day Stasi speech squads, it will be a case of “Someone’s coming to take (them) away, away…”

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Basic schooling   27/7/2012

It’s not rocket science they embrace at this school:

Some of the measures introduced by Ms McMillan were initially unpopular: forcing students to wear the correct uniform, especially leather school shoes; strict attendance; handing in assignments; and no mobile phones. Now students and parents credit them with changing the culture of the school.

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Slight exaggeration   

Australian refugee advocates are very sure of their facts:

Ms Nathan says the man probably will not even make it out of the airport when he arrives.
“Quite a few of them are picked up at the airport itself,” she said.
“They get taken to the fourth floor of the criminal investigation unit which is notorious for torture.
“They’ll be held there for a few days and tortured with no communication to anybody.”

Someone’s credibility has taken a hiding:

Mr Anthony, 30, had claimed to have been kidnapped and tortured in 2009 after he was seized and thrown into the back of one of Sri Lanka’s notorious white vans used in many disappearance cases.
He had also claimed to suffer severe back pain as a result of beatings sustained in Sri Lankan custody and had even given evidence to a hearing by the UN Special Rapporteur on Torture late last year.
But yesterday, under the gaze of Sri Lankan government officials, he withdrew all claims of torture and mistreatment, saying he had lied on the advice of a Malaysian Tamil people smuggling agent in order to secure a refugee visa.

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Pickering his targets   25/7/2012

Larry Pickering is skilfully and hilariously exposing many rotten matters connected to the federal government. Get on his mailing list – his cartoons alone are worth the effort. It’s worth noting that Australia’s best political cartoonists – Leak, Spooner and Pickering – have shuffled out of the Left Lockstep embraced by most of MSM’s Canberra commentators. Smart sketchers, they suspect there’ll be an editorial purge of biblical proportions through the Labor luvving Canberra press gallery when Abbott et al soar to power.

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Can it get any sillier?   23/7/2012

In a politically correct world, it doesn’t seem to matter how stupid some people in authority are prepared to make themselves look.

Police chiefs have banned the word ‘blacklist’ over fears it is racist.
They have also struck out its opposite – ‘whitelist’ – which is used by IT workers for a list of acceptable email contacts.
Scotland Yard employees have been told to use ‘red’ and ‘green’ instead.

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It is written   22/7/2012

You’ll travel a long way to find a better piss-take than this:
(Oops, I might have to take that back as Mark Steyn sizzles in his Barack mocking. Readers, you be the judge.)

You Didn’t Build That
Readings from the Book of Barack
1 In the beginning Govt created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the economy was formless and void, darkness was over the surface of the ATMs, and the Spirit of Govt was hovering over the land.
3 And Govt said, “Let there be spending,” and there was spending. 4 Govt saw that the spending was good, and that it separated the light from the darkness. 5 Govt called the spending Investments, and this he did in the first day.

And Steyn:

So here’s a breaking-news alert for President Nuance: We small-government guys are in favor of roads. Hard as it may be to credit, roads predated Big Government. Which came first, the chicken crossing the road or the Egg Regulatory Agency? That’s an easy one: Halfway through the first millennium B.C., the nomadic Yuezhi of Central Asia had well-traveled trading routes for getting nephrite jade from the Tarim Basin to their customers at the Chinese court, more than 2,500 miles away. On the other hand, the Yuezhi did not have a federal contraceptive mandate or a Bloombergian enforcement regime for carbonated beverages at concession stands at the rest area two days out of Khotan, so that probably explains why they’re not in the G7 today.

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Finding offence where none exists   19/7/2012

Someone from the Eternal Search for Outrage Club has had an idiotic politically correct victory.

THE artistic flair shown by a group of racehorse owners in naming their filly has been undone by political correctness.
Australian racing authorities have requested Blackman’s name be changed. The filly won on debut nine days ago at Geelong’s synthetic track, but the victory led to a complaint to the Registrar of Racehorses, whose office originally approved the moniker.
Racing Information Services Australia have been in consultation with trainer David Hayes’ stable, which liaised with the two syndicates owning the filly to decide on a new name.
Blackman is by the British stallion Excellent Art, out of a mare named Busty. The owners named her after Australian artist Charles Blackman, famous for his Alice In Wonderland series.

Aggrieved ignoramuses have pushed their weight around before:

One day, David Howard was working for the government of D.C., but then, he used the word “niggardly.” The next thing you know, such a furor rose up that Howard had to resign because so many ignorant people didn’t know the difference between the word “niggardly,” which means stingy, and the N-bomb.

My good friend, Peter Blackman, at one stage in his workplace had his name changed to Peter Blackperson on the staff in-out board.
No it’s wasn’t because of racial or misogynist concerns: Pete was a public servant in the Melbourne office of the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders Commission (the defunct ATSIC).
Seems that almost every time a member of the indigenous community called the office and demanded to speak to “a black man”, Pete, from Anglo stock, copped the call. And that was unsatisfactory to all parties.

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Signs of the times   17/7/2012

Show a Wahine a sign and next thing you know it’s poles apart:

Dozens of traffic signs have been destroyed by prostitutes performing pole-dances in the street to attract clients, officials in New Zealand’s biggest city have revealed.

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At last, no nail biting   14/7/2012

Finally, a critical Collingwood game without anxiety on the menu. Three-quarter time and 48 points up against the Cats. No trouble getting a seat on the late V/Line service to Geelong. Perfect footy day for the locals after Geelong West Sporting Club dished out a 142-point shellacking to Winchelsea.

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Loving to hate   12/7/2012

Brad Pitt’s mother comes out in defence of religious tolerance and the US celebrity left goes berserk.

Perez Hilton, an L.A.-based gossip website operator and hanger-on to the stars who fronts the “No H8″ gay-marriage movement in California, pounced on Mrs. Pitt as “mommy dearest.”
Hilton angrily scrawled across a photo of Mrs. Pitt with her son: “A vote for Romney is a vote for God.” After taking obligatory potshots at Christians, Hilton, who calls himself the “queen of all media,” fumed: “Ugh! How can one woman birth such a beautiful boy, but have such unattractive views???”

As is the case in Australia, it seems that only certain opinions can be expressed.

Twits on Twitter were worse:

“Brad Pitt’s mom, die”
“F*** you, Brad Pitt’s mom. The gay community made your kid a star, you whacko.”
“Brad Pitt’s mother…what a brainless old b***h…”

You don’t have to agree with Mrs Pitt to be disgusted at these attacks.

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Still no moss   

“When the po-lice knocked, those doors flew back…”
Looking back 50 years to the world’s greatest rock band’s first gig.
Also a fantastic video of an early performance.

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Hating the media   11/7/2012

Janet Albrechsten exposes the totalitarian tendancy of “progressives” attempting to stifle the free press.

Wake up, Australia. Each step that has brought us to where we are now, facing government intervention in editorial standards of the media, has been deplorably illiberal. The government’s seven-step program to regulate the media is a depressing read for anyone who cherishes the progress delivered by two centuries of Western liberalism.

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Creative science   

Ever wonder how government-funded scientists get away with dodgy projections based on distorted data?
It might have something to do with government-funded academics cracking the postmodern whip.

“Science is a social and cultural activity through which explanations of natural phenomena are generated,” it (a Queensland government syllabus statement) says.
“Explanations of natural phenomena may be viewed as mental constructions based on personal experiences and result from a range of activities including observation, experimentation, imagination and discussion.
“Accepted scientific concepts, theories and models may be viewed as shared understandings that the scientific community perceive as viable in light of current available evidence.”

In other words, scientific discovery is whatever you want it to be.
Dumbed down generation? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

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Little snoozer   10/7/2012

It’s such tiring work, this growing up.

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Giants   4/7/2012

Most of the nation is in agreement that Craig Emerson is a tool. By any measure Peter Slipper is flakey. And Clive Palmer is a goose. Welcome to the super loopy group of Australian public life: Emerson, Flake and Palmer.

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