Dems want to understand al-Qaeda’s feelings   30/6/2005

In Washington, Bush’s Svengali, Karl Rove, has prominent lefties buckling with the vapours.
Rove inferred to a conservative gathering that liberals were as lame as hotplate dancing ducks after the 9/11 attacks:
“Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers,” Rove said.
He didn’t let the chance go by to rip into Democrat senator Richard J. Durbin’s remarks comparing U.S. interrogation tactics at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to those used by Hitler, Stalin and Pol Pot.
“Has there ever been a more revealing moment this year?” Mr. Rove asked, referring to the Senate’s No. 2 Democrat comparing U.S. interrogation techniques at the Guantanamo Bay naval base to the Nazi and Soviet regimes.
“Al Jazeera now broadcasts the words of Senator Durbin to the Mideast, certainly putting our troops in greater danger. No more needs to be said about the motives of liberals.”

New York Democrats, it seems, actied like rich brats always do — they threw a tantrum:
“There’s a certain line that you should not cross, and last night, Karl Rove crossed that line. He didn’t just put his toe over the line; he jumped way over,” said Sen. Charles E. Schumer of New York.
“This makes me angry. It makes, I think, the American people angry,” said Sen. Jon Corzine of New Jersey. “The man is divorced from reality, and it’s nothing but pure politics — the politics of diversion, the politics of divisiveness and distortion.”

And the cry goes up from the red states: BOO-FRICKIN-HOO-HOO!!!

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MCG capacity crowd?   

Overnight, Victorian union leaders predicted they’d get out 100,000 to rally in central Melbourne today against the Federal Government’s industrial relations reforms.
How many turned out? Hard to tell, so far.
The Age is not following the comrades’ line in crowd estimates and puts the crowd at “tens of thousands”. Although the online article quotes union leadership who suggest their estimate of 100,00 was on the money.
Holy hell, Siberia for that revisionist over at the ABC. The collective’s website has reported that only 5000 have turned up at the Flagstaff Gardens rallying point. Of course there could be tens of thousands rallying elsewhere in the central city, but that’s one heck of a negative perception from the glorious people’s broadcaster.
The Herald Sun remained for now with the unions’ estimate of 100,000 but reported that Beezer was leading the march. Er, that would make it about 100,010, eh?
In its inimicable way, the Herald Sun exposed the type of stellar intellect participating in this action:
One of the workers attending the rally said he felt Prime Minister John Howard was about to gain too much control.
Melbourne iron worker Derek Corner, 44, said “I just think you may as well call him Saddam (Hussein), because he’s become a dictator.”

Heh-heh, bring on the people shredders.
The wildly inconsistent The Australian refers online to “an estimated 100,000″, presumably the union’s estimate.
Hopefully, more concise figures will be available later.
UPDATE:
Andrew Landeryou, who has plenty of contacts in the labour movement, has come up with a more plausible figure:
OC correspondents report the gathering to be much smaller than the hundred thousand reported by theAgeBC. The OC’s Official Demo Counter estimates the crowd to be around 40,000, not a bad showing considering the dismal weather.

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Bike pumps for camp followers   29/6/2005

Cursed Britishers, they stymied Hitler’s plan to bring pleasure to the Third Riech’s troops while protecting Aryan bloodlines.
According to this report, when the allies bombed Dresden they destroyed a factory that was to make the first sex dolls, a project dear to crazy Adolf.
The doll was went meant to serve the sexual needs of the German fighting man, who might otherwise go to brothels and contract a sexual transmitted disease – or worse, have sex with non-Aryan women and thus pollute the race.
The story of the sex doll first appeared in a Norwegian newspaper, which said that Hitler himself provided the measurements and design for the doll: “She should be a natural size with a pretty woman’s appearance with white skin, blonde hair, blue eyes, 1.76 meters (5 feet, nine inches) high, with large lips and breasts.”

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Off the twig   28/6/2005

Kerry Packer and a wad of cash don’t come close. The most dangerous place in Australia has always between Labor haters and the object of their wrath.
NSW Right hardhead Johnno Johnson dredges the ghost of the Little Rat to belt failed -ex leader Mark Latham upside the head: “The reincarnation of Billy Hughes appears to have arisen out of the person of Mark Latham”.
The Labor scorn erupted as Latham prepares for the launch tomorrow of his recent political history Loner: Inside a Labor Tragedy, by journalist Bernard Lagan.
Unions NSW secretary John Robertson twists a familiar line to hurl at Latham,
claiming he’d joined the “conga line of rats that have been in the Labor Party.”
Remember it was Latham that came up with the “conga line of suckholes” to describe the Libs. Oh, nasty.
Leader Kim Beazley tried to stand nobly apart while as usual spouting rubbish:
He said the Opposition was focused on the future, not dwelling on the past.
That would be why the blats are full of the NSW Right waxing vicious about Billy Hughes.
Anyone doubting Latham is gone, ex-communicato, deceased, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible, consider this farewell shot from Johnson:
If Mr Latham had “shown as much loyalty to the union movement as retiring senator Brian Harradine, then Mark Latham and the ALP would have been better off”, he said.
When a True Believer gives a Grouper a higher rating, you’ve gotta know your metabolic processes are now figuratively ‘istory! And in the figurative sense only if you keep out of certain bailiwicks on dark, stormy nights.

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No excuse now   

I came across this neat little spell-checker, dictionary and thesaurus called WordWeb a while back and just got round to installing it yesterday.
It’s comprehensive, free and quick and easy to download and install.
Once it’s in, simply define your word and press alt-control-w. It provides definitions, antonyms, synonyms and relative terms.

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Intriguing   27/6/2005

Daily must-read blog is that of maverick businessman, ex-student union boss and Victorian Labor scion Andrew Landeryou. Now, I’m not recommending anyone peruse his site, for there’s much savage commentary there about the high and mighty and I’ve no wish to be branded a disseminator. He has a fascinating story today about NSW Right hard man and former Keating minister Laurie Brereton. Haven’t a clue as to the veracity there, but it’s an enthralling read.

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Season breaker   

Ron Hards is aptly named. A representative of national grain growers, Ron hails from the parched Millewa region in far north-west Victoria where it’s said they’re so tough they shampoo with Solvol. You’ve got to be an ironback to survive out there where the kids earn pocket money by grubbing mallee roots (or Manangatang marching girls, to resort to the colloquial). It’s pretty marginal agricultural country where a break in the weather can be a devastating 50km by 2km hailstorm that flattens everything in its advance (I saw the aftermath of one in 1984 when every mallee tree within that 2km stretch was completely stripped of leaves and small branches), or a miserable 10mm that produces nothing but shoots which later shrivel under cloudless autumn skies.
Like most other grain regions, the Millewa has had a bit of rain and the prospect of a good season is a tempting consideration. But Ron’s not chucking his hat in the air and predicting bumper crops. Yet.
He told The Australian the latest wet weather was still short of drought-breaking.
“You couldn’t say it’s over. There has to be follow-ups through until the spring before you can really say the drought is over.”
But dry-as-a-bone Ron is grateful for what’s fallen so far:
“It’s much better to be kicking mud off your boots than sand out of them, I can assure you.”
That’s the best metaphor for life I’ve heard this year.

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Hard Labor week   

You’d think Federal Labor leadership and their advisers would be right on the money all the time; they like to think they’ve accurately measured the national pulse with all those bucks from the unions to back up their research.
So how come it’s taken a left-winger from a minor branch of the union movement to tell the socialist nawabs in Canberra what detached obervers have known without a doubt for 20 years?
An extract from a forestry union paper to be presented today to Labor leaders:
ONCE upon a time, the federal Labor Party’s unambiguous defence of workers’ jobs and their livelihoods was seen as progressive. It was admired and respected. These days, the people running the party machine – the apparatchiks, advisers and politicians – are no longer attuned to the basic aspirations of honest working men and women but sing a completely misguided (and electorally wrong) tune.
They seek to appease the unappeasable. They place their faith not only in the free market, but also in the shallow and cheap propaganda of a wealthy, inner-city elite that has a barely concealed contempt for people from the outer suburbs or the bush. They have fallen for Green propaganda that has been consistently found to be embellished or inaccurate. Worst of all, they believe these policies are in the best interests of the country

If you reckon that’s a punt in the goolies for Beeza, there’s far, far worse to come>
Old knacker-lacker crawls out of his primeval swamp Wednesday to gnaw the arsehole out of . . . well, probably everyone.

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Same old, same old   26/6/2005

Do the babbling bolshies ever have a fresh thought?
Here’s the maddest moonbat in Australian commentary, Richard Neville:

As re-created by Bruno Ganz, the Fuhrer was a ball of menace wrapped in charm, fuelled by a vision of world domination. During the shelling of Berlin, Hitler stood resolute and ill informed, as he barked orders to imaginary battalions. The last Nazi luminary by his side was Joseph Goebbels, still blathering about crushing the insurgents, like a puppet Murdoch pundit.

And here’s eternal regretter of failed marxism, Pastor Terry Lane:

As we are watching the film, I am wondering if the Germans referred to the Resistance as the “insurgency”? And the freedom fighters, hurling themselves pointlessly against a superior power, as terrorists?
Had the Germans prevailed, we would now be talking about the liberation of France by the forces of the Reich.
Once the German army had entered Paris in triumph, the carpetbaggers were not far behind. Or, as we say these days, the “postwar reconstruction consultants”.

Such rapier wit, such a breathtaking comparison: The Coalition of the Willing, er, sorry, Killing, likened to Hitler. What utter brilliance. The sheer originiality of it. Phillip Adams will be doing it next. He has? Many times?
What’s that? Coalition governments can be voted out anytime under democratic rules; Last time we looked B, B and H weren’t transp0rting millions to death camps; and Hitler was rather reluctant to replace dictators with elected parliaments.
Mere quibbles, children, to the great practitioners of circle jerk.

UPDATE:
Charles Murton sent this contribution on the left-right dichotomy as a comment, but somehow it wouldn’t take. Here ’tis as an update:

‘The Spanish Civil War ends badly…’
It is taken as an automatic given that the ‘wrong’ side won the Spanish
Civil War. Few people question it, even those on the right. I am a
believer in individual liberty, and certainly not a fascist, but
I intend to question it.
Let us look at the facts:
1) Neither side was fighting for individual liberty, so that option of
choice does not exist.
2) The socialist forces included a significant contingent of brutal,
hard-line Stalinists, as George Orwell exposed in ‘Homage to
Catalonia’.
3) If the republican forces had won, it is practically certain that
this contingent would have been dominant in forming the new government,
if the past history of Marxist states is any indication.
4) Franco was a fascist, but a very lazy one. Spain went on right into
the 1980s as a fairly laid-back country where Salvador Dali was able to
comfortably live; melting pocket watches, burning giraffes and the rest
(under the socialists he would undoubtedly have been declared
‘decadent’ and in all likelihood have been murdered by the state).
Picasso obviously never felt threatened by Franco – and Picasso was a
communist!
5) If the history of innumerable socialist utopias that were created in
the 20th century is any guide, Spain would have been turned into a vast
slave pen and abbotoir, in which millions would have perished.
The Spanish were, in fact, very lucky that the ‘wrong’ side won the
civil war.

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Ah well, next year   25/6/2005

Looks like the Magpies have had it for 2005. But by golly they went out in magificent style. Done by one point and if the game had gone another minute they’d have won it. Great bruising encounter, as you expect against Sydney. What the Swannies lack in finesse they more than make up for with bullocking belligerence. This handsome devil personifies it.

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Footy formula   

I recall short arguments with maths teachers in my early high school years (all arguments were short with teachers in the 60s) about what possible use algebra could be in the greater scheme of things. I soon realised it was a fundamental in the pursuit of knowledge. Unfortunately, the language of mathematics, like playing music, attracted and eluded me. Not so for tipster Charles who’s just given the perfect answer to my juvenile query.
Algebra is better than rhetoric or right hooks for solving sporting quandaries.
Here’s how Charles arrived at instances of when your footy team can demonstrate that it might be hopeless with the Sherrin but spot-on with arithmetic:

The problem last week was to identify the number of ‘perfect scores’
possible in Australian Rules Football.

Since a goal equals six points, and a behind equals one point, if the
number of goals is x and the number of behinds is y, then the number of
points is 6x + y.

Also, with a perfect score, Goals x Behinds = Points.

So the relevant equation is: xy = 6x + y

Or y = 6x / (x – 1)

Now, x cannot be divisible by x – 1, so 6 must be divisible by x – 1,
because y must be a whole number. It cannot be a fraction.

Also, x must be at least 2.

So looking at the possibilities,

x y

2 12
3 9
4 8
7 7

These are the only combinations that fit the conditions. If x is greater
than 7, then x – 1 becomes too big to divide into 6.

There are four perfect scores: 2.12.24, 3.9.27, 4.8.32, and 7.7.49.

This week’s question: There are three achievements in VFL football which
mark a player as special: playing more than 300 games, kicking more than
100 goals in a season, and winning the Brownlow Medal.

Only ONE player in the history of the game has achieved all three. Who
was he?

I’m hoping Charles’ race tip will be with us directly. (Directly was the time estimation my grandfather used to give for “when I’m good and ready”).

UPDATE:
Charles didn’t have a tip, as he explains:
The track is slow, and the fields are bad. No serious
punter pays much attention to winter racing: the fields are ordinary,
the tracks are usually chopped up, and betting on jumps races is
suicidal, unless it’s Red Rum in the Grand National.

Fortunately, family duties meant I didn’t have time to post a tip I received from another source — Strata Title in the first. I had it each way, so it produced the worst possible result and ran a close fourth. I prefer beaten each-wayers to run stone-cold motherless last.
It’s now half-time at the Sydney-Collingwood match and good to see Charles’ poser has attracted some interest.
And yes, what a delightful expression: “An ornament to the game.”
Who’s an ornament to their game in other pursuits?
A few spring to mind: Tom Hanks, Norah Jones, Susie O’Neil, Rod Laver, Carl Hiaasen . . . Scobie Breasley was in town yesterday, I think he’d qualify. But then his Australian career was before my time. He was after all, to borrow from the Dr Turf vernacular for jockeys, a thieving Venezuelan midget.

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Eight lives to go   23/6/2005

The local angle on a big yarn can be mighty tenuous when you’re a relatively small regional media outlet.
But at the Geelong Advertiser (link lasts only a day) we’ve had a plausible connection to man-of-the-moment Douglas Wood. He was educated here, played junior sport here, has old mates around the traps and comes back for visits.
And as seen at his press conferences, he has a grand passion for Geelong Football Club.
Under tight security and media wraps Doug came to Geelong yesterday, primarily to visit the footy club where they served him lunch, presented him with a membership and a Cats guernsey. Dunno where they found one to fit — perhaps they got it from one of the cheer squad members.
Anyway, Doug had the quintessential footy fan’s story to tell — a sort of boys’ own version of the digger’s cigarette tin that blocked the fatal bullet.
He told Cats legend Bobby Davis that memories of Geelong’s 1951-52 premiership team kept his hopes alive when he was at the mercy of his brutal captors.
The Advertiser reports that Wood said he would go through the 1952 premiership side from the backline, through the centre and forward lines to the followers and the 19th and 20th men. He would recall passages of play from the Grand Final which helped keep his spirits high.
The Advertiser today quotes club president Frank Costa after Wood’s visit:
“He had a great chat with Bobby who he admired greatly during his playing days,” club president Frank Costa said.
“He said that when he was really under pressure the thing that really helped keep his mind strong was going through that side.
“He could quote every player in the side and different parts of play.
“As a child he was just so enamoured by that side and it’s wonderful those great teams gave him a bit of comfort when he was in that terrible environment.
“He’s one of our most enthusiastic supporters, he’s as keen as mustard.”
Wood will be a guest of the club at the president’s luncheon in the club’s next home match against Hawthorn at Telstra Dome tomorrow week.

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There’s always the garbage tip   22/6/2005

Your 15 minutes of fame must be almost up when they won’t have a bar of you in the old home town.
Public opposition has stymied moves to have public places in the town of Davison named after gargantuan propaganderist Michael Moore.

While Moore has his backers in his hometown, many residents object to his politically liberal opinions and his films and books that criticize the government.
“The new hall of fame has kind of fizzled because we didn’t get the response we wanted, and we had hoped the group would be made up of graduates from several decades,” said Ryan Eashoo of Flint resident, a Davison High School graduate who began soliciting hall of fame applications in April.

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Seconds out!!   

As Andrew Landeryou likes to preface his attacks — Game’s on!!
It’s certainly on between the Bolta on one side and the Shoofti Mufti and Fairfax’s Baghdad crime reporter Paul McGeough on the other.
The Bolta has this to say today about Sheik Hilarious:

Remember how Hilaly claimed to have actually spoken to Wood during his captivity after a stranger handed him a phone?
Here is the May 19 report of that call by McGeough, the influential chief correspondent for The Age and Sydney Morning Herald:
Hopes for the release of Douglas Wood soared yesterday after the hostage was allowed to make a phone call in which he assured the Australian cleric Sheik Taj el-Din el-Hilaly he was alive and well.
“I’m all right,” said the hostage of 20 days, before repeating the Arabic term for thank you: “Shukran, shukran.”

Well, perhaps the phone call came from that other member of the Wood family, Colling. Bolta refers to Doug Wood’s Monday press conference:

Journalist: Were you at any stage aware that there were moves to have you released by Sheik Hilaly or any other people?
Wood: Never heard of him.
Journalist: His name was never mentioned by your captors?
Wood: No.

No? But what about their chat on the phone? Forget it. Never happened.

Bolta’s beadies then focus on McGeough. Not kindly.

But let’s turn to McGeough, who has reported Iraq’s liberation with such a savage eye that he wrote at least 12 articles last year warning of a “civil war” that still hasn’t broken out.
He also fell for the famous beat-up of the “looting” of the Baghdad Museum, and jeered at Iraq’s “puppet regime”. Before last year’s election, he predicted Iraqis were “unlikely to vote in the right numbers to legitimise this process” — and when, in fact, more than eight million voters defied the terrorists’ demand that they stay home, he bizarrely insisted some voted “only because of the gun at their backs”.
And now two shady sheiks have sold him the Sahara.

It’s like drowning kittens.

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Dah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ling!!   

African lynch mobs are easily upset:
Nairobi – A cobbler suspected of sorcery was attacked and nearly lynched by outraged villagers in central Kenya on Tuesday after being caught having sex with a female sheep, said witnesses and officials.

I mean, he was quite responsible about the whole matter:

The bloodied cobbler adamantly denied allegations that he was a wizard and insisted his affection for animals was limited to sheep.
“I only made love to the ewe twice using two condoms, but I never do it regularly,” he said in his defence.

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Who can do worse?   

Our town has the dumbest miscreants I’ve ever come across. Challenges welcome.
Yesterday, the Geelong Advertiser reported that a bloke tried to smuggle a bag of cannabis and housebreaking tools into his mate who was banged-up at the Geelong City lock-up.
The prosecutor told the court that police found a small bag of pot hidden in a change of clothing the dopey crook dropped off for his incarcerated mate.
They then searched the visitor’s bag and pockets and found a black balaclava, gloves, a small claw hammer and a metal spike.

Today, the Advertiser tells of Jeffrey Henderson, 50, of Norlane who was before the beak for exceeding .05 per cent, driving while disqualified, driving an unregistered car and having false number plates.
Police inquiries showed Henderson was a disqualified driver, the car was unregistered and the registration plates false. He also had a blood alcohol content of .187 per cent.
It was the seventh time Henderson had been picked up for drink driving.
The reason his mouthpiece gave for Henderson driving on this particular day:
He drove to the bottle shop because he was too drunk to walk.

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Clean air, hot earth!   21/6/2005

Cuts in industrial emissions in many countries, along with the use of pollution controls in cars and smoke stacks, have reduced the amount of dirt in the atmosphere and made the sky more transparent.
Good news, huh?
Well no. It seems the cleaner air is adding to global warming.
Making sense of this?
Well consider this:

Researchers will now focus on working out the long-term effects of clearer air. One thing they do know is that black particulate matter in the air has been contributing a cooling effect to the ground. “It is clear that the greenhouse effect has been partly masked in the past by air pollution,” says Andreas Macke, a meteorologist at the Leibniz Institute of Marine Sciences in Kiel, Germany.

Now let’s get this straight. Global warming is caused by manmade industrial pollution. But it’s not as bad as it could be because of manmade industrial pollution.

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Over-equipped   

This would have to be the happiest mutt going around:
PORT KLANG: A puppy with two extra legs and a second penis is drawing curious stares at a temple in Pandamaran town near here.

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Defending the indefensible   

The Prime Minister had this to say in an interview last Friday:
JOURNALIST: If they’re long overdue Mr Howard, why weren’t they done before?
PRIME MINISTER: Well that’s a fair question. I thought you would ask it, but I suppose with the benefit of hindsight, we have to confess that that’s one of the many failings of this government of which you’ve written frequently. I’ll withdraw that last bit Michelle that’s fine.

Nicely put PM, I thought. An elegant piece of self-depracation while mocking the obsessive Howard-knocking of the Fairfax press.

The Sydney Morning Herald’s Louise Dodson and Joseph Kerr reported the comment thus:
John Howard has agreed to dramatically liberalise the immigration detention system, admitting it is “one of the many failings of this Government”.

and

“We have to confess that was one of the many failings of this Government,” he said.
Note, no ellipsis to signify only part of a sentence was being quoted. A misrepresentation at best.

I contacted the SMH accusing them of misrepresenting Howard’s comments and accusing their reporters of either lying or being grossly erroneous. Louise Dodson’s reply:

Mr Howard did say:”I suppose with the benefit of hindsight we have to confess that that’s one of the many failings of this government of which you’ve written frequently.”We report what he says and do not make imputations about his motives in saying what he did.

“We report what he says”!!!??? I don’t think so.

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Middle of the road has moved to the left kerb   18/6/2005

Paul Kelly has today damaged his reputation as Australia’s premier political press analyst. Writing about the agreement Howard made with Liberal rebels over the detention of illegal arrivals, he refers to Petro Georgiou’s group eight times as “moderates”.
Such repetition is pretty woeful for an acclaimed wordsmith but worse, his description of these soggy biscuits is clearly erroneous.
The let ‘em loose demands of Georgiou et al are shared only by the extreme left and dim-witted “I want to be cool with the latte-lefties” Liberals — the doctors’ wives faction.
Their position is to the left of the majority of Australians, half the Labor Party and 80 per cent of the Liberal Party. They are not moderates. They are political fringe-dwellers and it is disingenuous for Kelly not to describe them as such. They are left wing wets. If anyone has appeared moderate in this affair it is Howard. His position is now much softer than the majority of Libs would desire, while still to the right of the ratbags who would have illegals welcomed with open arms and stuck straight onto the welfare rolls.
Kelly admits as much in his piece:
The logic of their (the Georgiou group) case was strong but their political position was weak. The majority of the partyroom was against them; the cabinet was united against them; and Howard’s co-operation only put them under pressure to cut a deal.

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