Takes after her mother   28/2/2005

Captain Patrick on the Observation Deck has set me up with a new pic upload facility.
Testing with a pic of my lovely daughter Erin.


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Oh, we do like to be beside …   26/2/2005

We’re just back from an enjoyable, restful few days by the beach at Warrnambool.
We stayed in a holiday guest house operated by my sister, Barb, and her better half, Mike. It’s an old fisherman’s cottage on the edge of a floodplain and only a five-minute walk to the ocean beach.

Mike is an artist and has furnished and decorated the place in a unique funky style. They pay great attention to every little detail and it is a joy to stay there. Their rates are reasonable and they can be contacted at 0355623435.
Mike and Barb live next door in their quaint two-storey home Mike designed and built. He is an active conservationist and has designed the place to blend with its surroundings.

I took a tour of Flagstaff Hill, a recreated maritime village featuring businesses and buildings from the city’s rich past. Painstaking attention to detail is evident in the buildings and displays.

I was tickled by this notice in the village’s schoolroom.


All in all, well worth a visit when in Warrnambool.

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A message from Bernard   25/2/2005

Bernard would like to remind you all that he has not left the blog world, he is just taking a well deserved vacation. He will return with some great holiday stuff within the next couple of days.

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Insanity and hate   21/2/2005

The hating class took only minutes to slither from their slimy habitat after Neil Mitchell’s moving interview this morning with Health Minister Tony Abbott over Abbott’ s recent unification with the son he fathered out of wedlock 27 years ago.
Some blathering harridan with an old gel accent was the first of a couple on the line claiming that Abbott had stage-managed the matter to promote his anti-abortion position. Mitchell couldn’t shut her up as she raved about agendas, and rightwing Christian fundamentalist conspiracies and the insensitivity of the entire US population.
Having shared a similar experience to Abbott’s, I understood the complexity of what he’d been through and was repulsed by the nasty old bag’s accusations.
For a start, the unification was at the behest of the son, who freakily is an ABC soundman who has worked in Parliament. With that sort of background he’d hardly be a party to an Abbott conspiracy.
As well, The Bulletin had got wind of the pair meeting and would b e likely to break it whether Abbott went along with them or not. In such a situation, with several parties affected, Abbott decided to be open and honest.
Is there nothing the hating class won’t attempt to despoil with their paranoid delusions about this government? Imre doesn’t think so.
It must be so embarrassing to be a leftwinger these days.

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Cerebral deprivation syndrome   19/2/2005

Sure it wasn’t “lack of self-esteem”.
Don’t you just love it when punks use socio-babble to try and wriggle out of trouble?
Dickheads were in court yesterday for illegal street racing.

Plakalovic, 19, of Dandenong, admitted driving down the wrong side of a road at 138km/h in a 60km/h zone.
He told police “peer pressure” made him do it, the court heard.

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Cold, hard facts   18/2/2005

Those of us who don’t worship at the altar of manmade global warming have the Bolta to thank for searching out some pretty powerful ammunition for sceptics.

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Our wallopers know their crims   

An elderly bloke was on 3AW before explaining how he’d got as mad as hell with hoons street racing at all hours outside his residence. The cops wouldn’t turn up in time to catch them and he took to remonstrating with the shitheads in person. First mistake. In his own words, they gave him “a nice old kicking” and someone hit him on the head with a bottle. So he got his old Dodge truck from the garage and drove it into a couple of the offending street racing vehicles. The hoons didn’t like it, in fact, the old fella had much pleasure in relating how one of the bully boys was blubbering at the sight of his wrecked car. Of course the plods were called. And did they sympathise with a respectable citizen driven to the end of his tether? Nah, the Fat Slag’s Finest are likely to charge him.
He might have done better had he disrupted another section of the motoring public.
Or contacted this walloper.

The Herald Sun has picked up the story.

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Our learned friend   17/2/2005

We got ourselves a celebrity of sorts on the Observation Deck. A big welcome to radio lawyer and fellow grey-bearded RWDB Peter Faris QC.
He’s gotta be an all right bloke. He gets e-mail like this:

“Mr Faris
It would be of immense joy for me to see you maimed in the gutter and then to watch you die.
I dispise everything about you and your vile political views.
from Gordon Melville


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Gotta be a movie in it   16/2/2005

A two-timed wife found unconscious in a car boot, membership of a swinger’s online club, a recently-widowed mistress, conspicuous wealth, a dead paddlesteamer captain and now the arrest of the cheating couple — this is the juiciest news story around these parts in a long, long time.

Lawyer condemns media for printing the facts:
THE lawyer representing Joe Korp has accused the media of turning the incident into a soap opera.


As he was whisked away by police, Joe was spotted consulting the stars column in his newspaper.


Hear on the grapevine the next break in the story is that Joe listed Tania and himself on the swingers web site.
With the mullet, the sunglasses, the huge hacienda, the fondness for horizontal folk dancing, he’d be a legend out there in the northern suburbs.

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Australian speaks out   

An Australian is behind the latest accusations of corruption and incompetence among UN officials.
Arthur Ventham, a former Australian army officer and customs officer has told the US Senate that UN inspectors in Iraq spent their working hours drinking vodka while ignoring a shadowy nocturnal fleet believed to be smuggling goods for Saddam Hussein.
Wonder if this will make Four Corners next week.

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Bureaucratic buffoons   15/2/2005

The worst thing about political correctness is that idiots lacking a sense of humour, irony or common sense will enforce without question the will of the politically correct. And in some cases, go further down the road of stupidity and intolerance.

THE Home Office refused to issue a baby with a passport — claiming his topless picture could upset Muslims.
Mum Tracey Barnes was furious when bureaucrats returned photos of bare-chested son Lewis.

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I saw this the other night on a Fox newsreel and was amazed there has been little comment on it. It’s not every day you see a mean Texas cowboy puckering up to a northern Democrat.

Romance is in the air today across the land. But in Washington, the buzz continues about “The Kiss.” No, not Gustav Klimt’s famous painting. It’s the big fat one an exuberant President Bush planted on Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman’s right cheek as he waded through the Capitol crowd after the State of the Union a couple of weeks ago.

Seems a marriage of sorts could be in the air.

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Master wordsmith   

Only Mark Steyn could write about silly love songs and keep you there to the last syllable.

Steyn’s back on more familiar turf, laying into the corrupt bums at the UN:
And, of course, corrupt organisations rarely stop at just one kind. If you don’t want to bulk up your pension by skimming the Oil-for-Food programme, don’t worry, whatever your bag, the UN can find somewhere that suits – in West Africa, it’s Sex-for-Food, with aid workers demanding sexual services from locals as young as four; in Cambodia, it’s drug dealing; in Kenya, it’s the refugee extortion racket; in the Balkans, sex slaves.
But you get the general picture: on a UN peace mission, everyone gets his piece. Didier Bourguet, a UN staffer in Congo and the Central African Republic, enjoyed the pleasures of 12-year-old girls, and as a result is now on trial in France. His lawyer has said he was part of a UN paedophile network that transcends national boundaries.

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Middle ground occupied   

In a state of play report presumably written before the Eason Jordan bombshell, media expert Michael Barone concludes:

So what hath the blogosphere wrought? The left blogosphere has moved the Democrats off to the left, and the right blogosphere has undermined the credibility of the Republicans’ adversaries in Old Media. Both changes help Bush and the Republicans.

Link courtesy of Charles Murton.

Jonah Goldberg extrapolates further on blogging and politics.

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In stitches warning   13/2/2005

This is the funniest WAV file since the great gerbil-armageddon saga.
Apparently it starts off with a guy calling work on his mobile to explain he’s running late. Then he witnesses a car accident and some summary justice.

Don’t know why, but that first link ain’t working.
Try cutting and pasting this in the URL slot:

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On humour   

Brilliant piece by Imre Salusinszky on satire and how Australian comics don’t get it: That it’s the ideological theorists, the obsessives and the haters that should be sent up mercilessly.

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Keep the door open for Dan   12/2/2005

Another scalp to blogocracy:
NEW YORK — CNN chief news executive Eason Jordan quit Friday amidst a furor over remarks he made in Switzerland last month about journalists killed by the U.S. military in Iraq.

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Conspiring to waste time   11/2/2005

Much scathing comment on climate change at Tim Blair’s would no doubt excite Geelong Advertiser letter writer, B. C. Fletcher, who explains how the 70s theory of global cooling became inverted:

“. . . the truth is that in 1968 the US Government paid a group of scientists to contradict environmentalists’ claim on global warming. It was these US scientists who predicted a possible new ice age.”

Always interested in climate change, I went a-Googling for B.C.’s source. Difficult exercise so far, but I found this here:

Since 1963 the World Meteorological Organization (WMO), an association of national weather services under the auspices of the United Nations, had administered a World Weather Watch that usefully coordinated the gathering of data around the world. In 1968 the WMO combined forces with the International Council of Scientific Unions, a non-governmental congress of scientific organizations, to create a “Global Atmospheric Research Program” (GARP). This provided essential coordination for research projects everywhere.

The WMO? That rang a bell. And it was back to Mr Blair’s to discover for whom it tolled.

Do you get the feeling that every security blanket the ideologically blinkered have hunkered under is rapidly unravelling?
Back to the US global cooling conspiracy.
Newsweek 30 years ago reported this:

A survey completed last year by Dr. Murray Mitchell of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration reveals a drop of half a degree in average ground temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere between 1945 and 1968. According to George Kukla of Columbia University, satellite photos indicated a sudden, large increase in Northern Hemisphere snow cover in the winter of 1971-72. And a study released last month by two NOAA scientists notes that the amount of sunshine reaching the ground in the continental U.S. diminished by 1.3% between 1964 and 1972.

Hmmm, reckon it was about 1975, when the CIA was just about to get Gough Whitlam thrown out that I had it from good authority (saloon bar of the Albion Hotel, I recall) that Newsweek was funded directly from the Dirty Tricks Department at the White House.

Anyway, back to the search, with little luck. Searching for “US government conspiracies”, I was momentarily sidetracked by Extraterrestrial Life Forms and
Masonic Conspiracies (must get back to them), gave an old familiar salute to
Nostrudamus but baulked at The
Unabomber’s Manifesto
and promised that when time permits I surely must get familiar with
Dr. Jose Delgado, Member of the Consortium, Mind Control and Hallucinogens.

But bugger me, an hour of googling and I still can’t find any reference — from any field, far left, right or just plain whacko — about the White House paying scientists to spread a global cooling theory.
I’ll just have to take B.C.’s word for it.

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Meet my son, Draino   10/2/2005

When you think about it, Ford Falcon sounds better than Tobee and Foster’s Lager has a nicer ring than Tyfynee Jayne (seen in the births columns recently).

The West Australian couple have listed an advertisement on internet auction site eBay calling for bids on the “naming, advertising and promotional rights” to their unborn child.
A colour picture of the pregnant woman, with the words “Reality Bites! Your Brand Here” painted on her bulging belly accompany the advertisement.

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Funniest blog on earth   

You know how much it hurts when you’re reading something absolutely hysterical and you try to supress your mirth because the missus will think you’re nuts laughing like a drain at the computer monitor?
You do know, huh? Chances are you’ve been reading Ball Bag and Noreen (and their comments). Viz Comics takes to the blogosphere.

And then that one who has written a poem or a book will chip in and say “yes, that’s rather like the Phoenecian custom of pet skittles, where a woman’s virtue was determined by throwing ferrets at a large rock” and then the other one who is more thick but has survived the hardship will chip in and say “that is what my mother used to say when she was having one of her turns”, and then the one that has just come down a mountain will not be able to leave it, the pushy bitch, will she, so she will finish it off with a remark about how difficult it is to have ferrets thrown at you when the air is really thin. Fuck off Radio Four, and your women’s programmes. That’s right, I’d rather listen to Ball Bag singing rugby songs.

Noreen is right!

My rugby songs are truely superb. I am afraid I have no strong opinions about Radio 4’s Womens’ Hour. Sorry.
Ball Bag

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