Phatso blowtorched   30/7/2004

Christopher Hitchens delivers a withering rebuttal to Plagiarising Phillip Adams’ contention that Saddam slaughtered probably only about 10,000 of his citizens. In an added logical delight Hitchens puts a cagey challenge to appeasers like Adams who love to point out that Hussein delivered some of his tyranny during his brief alignment with the US:
(I interrupt myself to ask whether or not one might approve of Washington’s change of policy here?), ponders Hitchens.
Adams’ comrades among the pathological hating crowd who concede Michael Moore’s farrago of falsehoods might not be the whole Babe Ruth, but are consoled by the ends justifying the means, leave themselves open to be snared in a similar loop of logic.
That group should no longer pretend at moral outrage by chanting “Bush (Blair, Howard) lied”.
But stupid is as stupid does and don’t expect the brainless racket to stop.

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Gigolo and rattlesnake   

Is this what the free world needs leading it? Mark Steyn’s succinct appraisal of the Democrat ticket:
That’s why poor boy-turned-trial lawyer John Edwards’s supposedly “appealing biography” is appealing only next to John Kerry’s. Instead of marrying his money, he sued his way into it.

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Strop that blade   28/7/2004

John Howard must win the election.
For no other reason than to rid us of yet another fugly spear-carrier with all the stage presence of a theatre chair and the intelligence of a carousel horse.
Stupid mummer Toni Collette is threatening self-harm if Howard sticks around.
“Because I think I’ll slit my wrists if Howard gets in again,” the talent-challenged, ugly stick victim pronounced to the Sydney Morning Herald.
Razor’s in the mail, honey.

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Excusing the barbarians   27/7/2004

Phillip Adams is the latest appeaser to play down Saddam Hussein’s savagery. Reports that the Butcher of Baghdad may be responsible for 400,000 deaths were untrue, the fat plagiarist claims, basing this on material he filched from that fount of unbiased accuracy, the Guardian-Observer empire. Adams leans towards a ball park figure of 10,000 casualties and with unashamed moral equivalence suggests this equals the number of Iraqi military victims who died in the coalition’s invasion.
Flyblown Phil might pick up some moral balance by reading a litany of atrocities collected from the world’s press — many of which are as bourgois Left as His Immenseness — that have been collated by the White House.
Samples:

“Saddam Hussein’s regime was similar to those of the Nazis and the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia in that there is a vast amount of documentary evidence relating to the atrocities they committed.

“We visited the notorious Abu Gehb Prison outside Baghdad and found written records of prisoners being executed by being put through mincing machines.”
– Western Mail, June 14, 2003
“Last October another bride, 18, was dragged, resisting, into a guardhouse on one of Uday’s properties, according to a maid who worked there. The maid says she saw a guard rip off the woman’s white wedding dress and lock her, crying, in a bathroom. After Uday arrived, the maid heard screaming. Later she was called to clean up. The body of the woman was carried out in a military blanket, she said. There were acid burns on her left shoulder and the left side of her face. The maid found bloodstains on Uday’s mattress and clumps of black hair and peeled flesh in the bedroom. A guard told her, “Don’t say anything about what you see, or you and your family will be finished.”
– Time, May 25, 2003
“The executions took place two or three times on most days, Arjawi said. Each time, between 100 and 150 blindfolded people, their hands and sometimes feet bound, were led into pits about 10 feet deep. Gunmen then fired into the pit, often for several minutes, Arjawi said. A bulldozer then pushed dirt onto the bodies, sometimes burying or crushing people who had survived the volley and were trying to climb out.”
– Los Angeles Times, May 14, 2003
“In two days, they’ve found 2,000 bodies–men, women, children, some handicapped. Many skeletons were still blindfolded. The Iraqis and the US military believe there are several thousand more. This is an archaeological site. And it’s no accident the bodies were buried here. Under Saddam Hussein, it was illegal for Iraqis to dig here, or even walk on the site. Search teams look for identification inside crumbling wallets, adding each name to a ledger. If there’s no ID, they hope a relative might recognize something — a watch, a scarf.”
– ABC World News Tonight, May 13, 2003
“Thousands of people are missing in Iraq, victims of Saddam Hussein’s dictatorship, but a more visible legacy are the parts that are missing from people who survived. Missing eyes, ears, toenails and tongues mark those who fell into the hands of Mr. Hussein’s powerful security services.”
– The New York Times, April 24, 2003
“I saw thousands killed and buried in mass graves. Some were lined up and machine- gunned before being covered with sand. Others were just buried alive. Saddam had a programme of telling villagers (Kurds) they were being relocated south. We would take trucks that would normally hold 12 to 15 people and put in 200 with no water or ventilation. Many would die on the way. Survivors were driven to Al Anbar or Tharthar and buried alive in vast holes dug in the ground. I saw thousands of people . men, women and children . die this way.”
– Defecting colonel in Iraqi internal security service, Evening Standard (London), April 17, 2003

It is disturbing reading and reinforces the Mark Steyn doctrine that there’s never a bad reason to take out a thug regime. I intend to send the list off to members of the hating classes with the suggestion they were quite content to see this continue. Love the sight of commies squirming in the morning.

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That form of socialism   

Increasingly, the rabid Left is adopting the positions of post-Weimar socialism. Jewish hatred is sweeping through Europe and is even appearing under the masthead of the left-leaning Sydney Morning Herald.
The US Left’s untalented but nonetheless revered cartoonist, Ted Rall, isn’t bothering with smokescreens such as “Zionist cabals”. He’s quite content to be seen as an ignorant filthy racist:

NEWCARTOON.gif

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New blog but not a new chum   

A regular wise and witty visitor to these pages, The Currency Lad, has joined the Blogspot program. Cast him a gander, he’s sure to inform and entertain.

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Dipstick alert!!   26/7/2004

Here’s a beaut for the Margoyle who’s discovered the fiendish Zionist plots that dictate world events:
Freed Israeli nuclear spy Mordechai Vanunu said in an interview published today that Israel was behind the 1963 assassination of U.S. President John F. Kennedy, prompting some Israeli officials to hope aloud the far-fetched comments will hurt Vanunu’s credibility.

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Heavy artillary   

If for nothing else, Michael Moore can be congratulated for luring one of the finest word wielders around to do a demolition job on his crockumentary, Fahrenheit 9/11.
The immensely gifted Gideon Haigh – one of our neighbourhood boys made good — so deftly slices up Moore and his pathetic production of porkies that if the fiction film maker had any character at all he would hide for ever from embarrassment. It wouldn’t hurt some of his celebrated apologists to take similar action, too.
Haigh:

To parse F9/11 fact by fact, however, may miss its most remarkable aspect. “Propaganda”, hitherto, has usually had pejorative connotations; Moore’s apologists, by contrast, glory in his bias. To display their metropolitan sophistication, they will usually admit his flair for mangling fact, then acclaim him as a kind of idiot savant wakening viewers to deeper realities. As Richard Carleton reportedly exulted on seeing F9/11: “Pure propaganda and I fully support it.”
TV journalists being unaccustomed to as many as two simultaneous thoughts, it isn’t surprising that Carleton should be so confused. But he is taking a now-familiar line. The New York Times’ Paul Krugman, for instance, agreed that F9/11 promotes “a few unproven conspiracy theories” and induces viewers to believe “some things that probably aren’t true” but also “tells essential truths”. His colleague, A. O. Scott, thought the film a “not always consistent account” of a “not altogether clear” point, but said its “confusion” makes it “an authentic and indispensable document of its time”.

If that’s not the best shit-canning that pompous phoney Dickie Carleton’s ever got, I’ll go he. Must make sure he gets to read it.

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Bushell of corn   25/7/2004

America has Lileks, Australia has Blair and England’s got Bushell.
Garry Bushell is one of the wisest acres in Pommy tabloid land. And he has his own thoroughly entertaining web site.
Included are some new to me on-air bloopers:
Soccer commentator George Hamilton getting excited about Spainish manager Luis Suarez making a substitution in the world cup qualifier against Ireland in 1992: “He’s pulling him off! The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!”
Garry also campaigns for an English Festival on St George’s Day and has a genuine all-embracing love of his land:
My England is bubble and squeak and foaming pints of Boddingtons. It is Les Dawson and Barbara Windsor, Max Miller and Page Three. My England is pie and mash and Aston Martins, Derby day and Arfur Daley, Mods and Suedeheads, Lennie McLean and Carry On films. My England stretches from Dennis Skinner to Roger Scruton, from Peggy Mount to Beki Bondage. It’s Blackpool beach, Charlie Drake, Charlton Athletic FC, roast beef, imperial measurements and vindaloo. It’s defiance. Whether it be King Alfred standing up to the Vikings, Colonel H at Goose Green, or the Metric Martyrs giving the finger to Brussels. No-one likes us! We don’t care!
But Garry’s most important mission is to honour the memory of one of England’s greats, Benny Hill.
I congratulated Garry on his efforts in erecting (heh, heh, Benny’d do something with that) in Southampton (Benny’s birthplace) a memorial to the funny man who’s end was so tragic. Garry replied:

We’re offering the council a £50K statue for free – a builder has donated some land and locals want it. So despite some last minute red tape, it’s likely to go ahead. I don’t think they’re too happy about it between you and me, but they can’t get out of it.
You’re dead right, Benny’s humour still retains its universal appeal while the trendy comics they have tried to foist on us for the last 20-odd years have yet to attain a fraction of his popularity.
Ironically, British TV sacked Benny for being “sexist”; and now cutting edge TV humour is represented by the Bo Selecta bear masturbating over female guests. As the Yanks say, go figure.

I mentioned to Garry that we have a great comedian in Australia, Graham Kennedy, whose material was drawn from the same vaudevillian sources as Benny’s.
Garry would like to hear some of Kennedy’s material. Anyone know of any MP3 files or similar containing Kennedy stuff?

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Support offer   23/7/2004

With friends like this . . . hang on, he’s got lots of friends like that.
Terrorist group Hezbollah has made an offer to Michael Moore and the producers of Fahrenheit 9/11 to assist with distribution of the controversial documentary.

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Good read   

A thoughtful piece by Whitney Blake on two black American comedians who have made news recently.

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Monster on the loose!!!   

Fairfax has brought off a fair swap . . . they’ve offloaded the Margoyle and picked up a canny Scot to run the Standard Gauge.
The devil’s sister-in-law — she’s uglier than family — has taken a package and will leave the SMH, returning only after dark to slip her dreaded Webdiary in a crumpled used envelope under the front door. She’s apprehensive about leaving Freddy’s tit but nonetheless believes, like all of us, only good can come from her departure:
Once my accountant’s been through all the issues and I’ve worked out how to survive as a self-employed person, I’m bound to be a better writer . . .

Her accountant’s what?

I wouldn’t be so sure, deary.

Anyway, Margo’s free (well, you wouldn’t pay for it, would you?) from nasty Fairfax corporate control (make the Webdiary cheque out to cash, please) and she’s celebrated her independence with a glorious declaration:

Margo: Because the fundamentalist Zionist lobby controls politics and the media in the US and Australia.

Note that to Margo it’s not a problem in Europe. They had a very effective solution there 60-odd years ago.
This dingbat’s had about 20 years of observing, reasoning and writing about politics at a pretty high level and all she can come up with is: “The bloody Joos are behind it all”.
Doesn’t matter who it inflicts, brain damage is a cruel visitor.
Professor Bunyip has more on Webdiary’s lusus naturae as well as much juicy background on Wee Andy, The Age’s new caledonian commodore.

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Then again, they might be just …   21/7/2004

In comments at another post I’ve been chatting with Paul Bickford about island-hopping tours of Torres Strait. Advice from Habib, who lived for two years on Thursday Island, included a website listing TI tourist information, including a contact number for Willie Nelson’s Tours. What happens when you ring the number and Willie’s not there? Does the message tell you he’s On the Road Again?
Anyway, being a trove of trivia, often of the disgusting kind, while we were on the subject of musicians and song titles Habib referred me to this snippet on some pretty awful band brands in the Brisbane music scene:
THE NAME GAME: What’s in a name?, as the Bard said. Never the less, Muse News is duty bound to report on some bizarre band nomenclature that has emerged in Brisbane of late … like Johnny Johnny Dicktogs & The Drugdealing Transvestites, They Might Be Vaginas, Mum’s Tennis Friends, Post-Life Disorder, Rampant Scabies, Strange Stains, Psychotic Lemmings, Thumping Bumjoys, Sausage Chopper and Community Cervix.

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kerry … kerry … kerry …   

Daytime TV shocker Jerry Springer has been contracted by a Cleveland TV network to be a special correspondent at the Democratic National Convention.
The former Cincinnati newscaster, mayor, failed gubernatorial candidate, one-time senator wannabe and tempestuous TV talk show host will have access to the convention because the Ohio Democratic Party has named him an at-large delegate in Boston.
As Newsmax’s Left Coast Report observes: for years Springer has been dealing with transsexual bikers, hustling housewives and people who marry their pets.
“Looks as if he’s perfectly suited to cover the Democrat convention,” the column snipes.

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dumbin’ ‘em down   

What drives Mark Latham to humiliate his wives in public?
First, he reportedly helps his first wife and family celebrate her 30th birthday in a restaurant by having a porn video shown.
Now, he lets the national media know his second wife enjoys television for retards.
He admitted he was partial to the Big Brother series during a visit yesterday to the set. “My wife is a keener fan than I am,” he said.
(This was reported in the print version of The Australian today, but I can’t find it online.)
Dunno why he thinks there are votes in visiting the BB set. Most of the audience is too young to vote and the rest are morons who would probably vote Green if they could be bothered getting off the couch to register.
The visit must have sparked this poll result. The Australian’s got it wrong by suggesting it is men over 55 years who reject him. It’s men with an IQ over 55 who can’t identify with him.

UPDATE:
Tim Blair’s monstered Lacker for his asinine decision to resurrect the It’s Time slogan from the campaign that brought Australia’s worst Prime Minister and Latham’s mentor, Gough Whitlam, to power. And scroll down comments to read Currency Lad’s disturbing tale of madness thwarting achievement. Utterly brilliant.

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Lacker’s lesson according to st gough   20/7/2004

Latham’s background, in which Australia’s worst Prime Minister ensured his protege got what he wanted without having to worry about the origin of the next dollar, is coming back to haunt him.
It seems that like many a 21st century middle-class teenager, Lacker thinks a money tree grows in every street and you just pluck if whenever you want the latest luxury.
He yesterday firmly aligned himself with the nation’s witless takers and fiscal vandals by declaring the economy was a matter only for the elite’s concern.
He claimed Australians were more interested in what they could get from government rather than how the economy was managed and inferred he would cultivate that ignorant approach.
At this moment scores of government gofers are leafing through moth-eaten speeches and statements from the Whitlam era, Australia’s most hopeless period of government, to find similar sentiments. They’ll discover plenty.
Latham’s mentor, Gough Whitlam, spent like a mall rat with an unlimited credit card until a shocked populace turned on him and his motley mob and overwhelmingly endorsed the governor-general’s sacking.
It’s sure going to make the Coalition’s advertising campaign easy.
Treasurer Peter Costello’s response:
“What is more important to families than whether they can get a job, whether they can pay the mortgage?” the Treasurer told The Australian yesterday.
“These are absolutely critical issues.
“Mr Latham’s time as Opposition Treasury spokesman confirmed what people suspected, that you can’t trust the Labor Party on the ‘big issues’.”

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Scoop! The sun is hot!   19/7/2004

What would we do without scientists? The Telegraph reports that a study by Swiss and German scientists suggests the sun is responsible for global warming.
They’ve found an increase in sunspots over the past century that could be responsible for a .02 degree celsius increase in global average temperatures over the past 20 years.
All I know is it’s f-f-f-f-freezing in these parts and the majority of monthly average temperatures so far this year here have been below normal.
Meanwhile, British scientists are choosing logic over myth.

Dr Gareth Jones, a climate researcher at the Met Office, said that Dr Solanki’s findings were inconclusive because the study had not incorporated other potential climate change factors.
“The Sun’s radiance may well have an impact on climate change but it needs to be looked at in conjunction with other factors such as greenhouse gases, sulphate aerosols and volcano activity,” he said. The research adds weight to the views of David Bellamy, the conservationist. “Global warming – at least the modern nightmare version – is a myth,” he said. “I am sure of it and so are a growing number of scientists. But what is really worrying is that the world’s politicians and policy-makers are not.
“Instead, they have an unshakeable faith in what has, unfortunately, become one of the central credos of the environmental movement: humans burn fossil fuels, which release increased levels of carbon dioxide – the principal so-called greenhouse gas – into the atmosphere, causing the atmosphere to heat up. They say this is global warming: I say this is poppycock.”

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Under threat   

Could this be the beginning of the end for one of the nastiest little bastards going around?
GAZA (Reuters) – Palestinian gunmen issued a fresh challenge to Yasser Arafat’s rule on Monday in a standoff that followed a weekend of growing violence in the Gaza Strip, demanding police leave a compound so they could set it alight.
The gunmen, intensifying pressure on Arafat to stamp out alleged corruption in his government, and Palestinian forces shot at each other in the Rafah area overnight and the militants set fire to an office near the military intelligence compound.

UPDATE:

The cancerous butcher’s done a Houdini:

PALESTINIAN President Yasser Arafat last night reinstated a security chief whose replacement by the veteran leader’s cousin touched off a weekend of turmoil in the Gaza Strip.

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Moore material? Not likely   

Now here’s some substance for Michael Moore’s next movie:
A secret intelligence report prepared for the President before 9/11 reported on a suspected plot by Osama bin Laden to hijack a U.S. airliner in an effort to force the United States to release imprisoned conspirators in the 1993 World Trade Center attacks.
This report was all over Fox News a day ago, yet the Australian press hasn’t touched it yet.
Perhaps that’s because the President in question was Bill Clinton.

Here’s more damning material on Clinton that would make a rivetting documentary:

Consider the Somalia fiasco. In December 1992 president Bush Sr launched a UN-backed humanitarian rescue of Somalia from famine. Clinton inherited this mission. When faced with anarchy, and sabotage of the mission by warlords who were killing UN peacekeepers, Clinton decided to hunt down the principal culprit, Mohammad Aidid. Yet Clinton committed insufficient armed forces to the operation. When Aidid fought back, killing 18 Americans and dozens of other UN soldiers, Clinton decided to cut and run – reaping dreadful consequences.
We now know that Osama bin Laden’s al-Qa’ida had trained and fought with Aidid’s forces. Bin Laden, recalling the US retreat from Vietnam and the Reagan administration’s retreat from Beirut in 1983 after a truck bombing killed 243 marines, was convinced by Somali events that the US retreated under fire.

Subsequent events demonstrate clearly what happens when you don’t stand up to tyranny.

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Delightful   17/7/2004

Isn’t this a great story? It’s probably not a good thing we even know about it. But those involved seem successful at keeping the wolves at bay.

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